A Different Life
by MesiAllegra
Summary: Callie is in a bad place in her life so Mark suggests seeing a prostitute. Arizona has been in a bad place for the last few years. It isn't the most ideal of meetings but it marks the beginning of a different life for both.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the rights to the characters and don't intend to make any money from this story. The plot and story are all mine I'm just borrowing the main players.

**Chapter 1**

Waking up is such a shitty feeling. Knowing that I have a full day and night to endure is just plain soul destroying. Still I have no choice I need to eat and pay rent, so I need to work. Rushing through my basic morning routine of coffee and a shower, I leave the apartment just as my housemate is coming through the door 'It's slow out there today one an hour if you're lucky, I left Alicia and Ash arguing over the liquor store patch so you best get moving if you want a decent spot'.

'Thanks Kel, I'll see you later' I shout as I'm already going down the stairwell. It's ridiculous really I'm rushing to get a "good spot" like there is ever a good spot to turn tricks, just more popular spots or easier pick up points. Still the rent is paid a lot quicker when you get in the fast spots, plus the sooner I make my money the sooner Jayceon will let me go home and I could use an early night for once.

'_Well Kel was right it's slow as fuck_ _today'_ I think to myself. I've been walking my stretch of the block for the last hour and nothing. I know Christmas time costs but surely not everyone is broke, at this rate I'm not gonna make rent and well I'll be lucky to afford bread let alone a Christmas meal. Fixing my hair I make my way to the edge of the road to let the guys get a better look at me as they drive past. I find making eye contact encourages them to stop, makes them feel like you want them like you find them hot and can't help but stare. Really they repulse you and every second you spend with them kills you a little, but whatever pays the bills is what you have to do. My tactic works as a black BMW pulls in stopping short and waiting for me to come to him. I inwardly sigh, this car is expensive which means the guy driving has money, no doubt he'll want the full list of extras, standard $20 blowjobs are never enough for the guys with money.

Putting on my game face I stroll up to the car as seductively as the cracked sidewalk allows. Despite my distaste for money guys getting regulars is always more desirable than not knowing if you'll make enough to eat that day, plus it's kind of safer well it feels safer at least. With the sun visor down and the blacked out windows I still can't make out what the guy looks like. As I reach the passenger side window it slides down slowly, revealing to my surprise a woman, an incredibly hot thirty something Latina woman. It takes me a few seconds to regroup before I manage to make sentences, well questions would be more accurate 'Hey lady you lost?' She looks a little taken aback by my question, almost like she's questioning whether she is indeed lost, her reply is barely above a whisper and she hangs her head as she delivers it 'no I'm not lost, I was looking... Well I was looking for you know...oh god this was a mistake I'm sorry...I'm just going to erm go'.

Her nervousness is incredibly endearing it's not often you come across a newbie. She seems pretty disgusted with herself and couldn't even bring herself to use the word hooker, I'm willing to go out on a limb and wager this is her very first time. She's too good to let go, having her as a regular is not something that I would even count as work, I'd fuck her for free if she asked getting paid to do so would be a bonus 'You sure you wanna leave baby, leave me here all alone on this corner? You sure you don't want me to come with you instead? I know what you came here for baby and I can give it to you'

The Latina stares at me silently contemplating her next move, she doesn't speak she simply unlocks the door and gestures for me to get in. Once I'm in she pulls away heading west, she still hasn't spoken and she looks pretty tense. I guess I will be doing all the talking then 'erm, so do you have a destination in mind? There is an empty parking lot a few blocks ahead or the motel off fourth?' Again she looks taken aback like she was totally not expecting me to suggest places. She shakes her head and stops at the traffic lights 'I was going to take you home, I err...is that not what I should do? Should we use the motel?' she chews her bottom lip frantically as she awaits my reply her fingers tapping the steering wheel.

'_Wow she really doesn't have a clue does_ _she'_ I smile inwardly; this will be easy money I'm sure. 'Well it's not the norm no but it's totally fine, just for future reference though while I have no intention of doing so, some of my...well colleagues would rob you high and dry if you took them home, then come back the next day for the rest' I felt the need to teach her she couldn't go around in my world so naive. Her eyes bulge at my advice 'I never thought of that, err are you sure you're not going to rob me...that's a stupid question like you would admit it if you where. Come on Callie get it together what are you thinking'. Her voice trailed off as herself scolding continued internally. Deciding it best to cut in and reassure her before she talks herself out of this whole thing I jump in 'I won't rob you I promise, if you like you can go in ahead and move anything valuable or we can use the motel, it's totally your call'.  
Eyes once again fixed on the road she simply nods and puts her foot on the gas. I stay quite the rest of the drive. About 15 minutes later we pull into an underground apartment block garage. Callie which I'm assuming from her earlier rant is her name, ushers us into the elevator without a word. Every time I look at her I find her head firmly bowed and her eyes resolutely facing the ground. We exit on the fifth floor and it is only now that she speaks 'so this is it. Do you want to come in?' her tone is almost unsure like I will reject her offer, like I'm not a sure thing 'of course baby, lead the way'. I don't bother answering just walk past her into the apartment.

Callie's apartment is nice a little to modern for my taste but I can appreciate the style she's went for, some photographs adorn various sideboards mainly what looks like family but a couple of Callie and a very attractive man, one in particular has Callie draped over his shoulder as they both smile for the camera. This could explain her nervousness, she has a boyfriend. I don't have time to ponder as Callie follows me into the living area holding out a glass of juice to me 'I'm sorry I don't have much of a selection it was this or water. I'm Callie by the way I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier, do I...I mean can I ask your name or is that not allowed?'

'Yes it's allowed, I'm Arizona. It's nice to meet you Callie' for some reason all seductiveness has been sucked form me by her offering me a drink, bringing me home and bothering to ask my name she has thrown me.

'So I think you already know I don't know how to go about this. In fact I don't think I should do this, I mean I've never...even you know... with a woman, I mean I wanted to and I did some things but I didn't well you know. Then the whole Erica thing happened...it's been so long and well Mark said he'd went to you know all the time and that it was fun, he said that I needed to get laid and I'd enjoy it and learn some things, but I can't do it. I can't do this to you to anyone, I can't make you do things you don't want to...I'll take you back, give you the money for the hour and take you back' Callie barely took a breath throughout her entire monologue, clearly my earlier tactic of jumping in before she picked up steam had been a good one. 'Callie I have no idea what half of that meant but this Mark guy is right, I will make sure you enjoy it I promise' talking someone into sex is not a normal part of my day but if I could get her to relax, well I might have a chance at persuading her to make this a regular thing.

'Im sorry Arizona, I shouldn't have picked you up I don't know what I was thinking; I'm not this person...God why am I such a fuck up?' Callie looked so defeated as spoke it made me want to hug her but I knew that would only spook her more, no I'd have to ease her into this. 'Don't apologise Callie, it's ok, I'm ok with this I want to be here, if I go back I'm going to get picked up by some guy who I can guarantee won't be anywhere near as nice as you I would much rather spend time with you. Why don't we just go lie down, if you don't want to do anything then okay but a lie down would be nice'. She was making this difficult but this could the easiest money I'd ever make.

'Yeah ok do you err err want to shower or anything or I have a spare toothbrush and stuff?' Callie looked so awkward asking me this. I understood what she meant I wouldn't want someone who'd been turning tricks all night in my bed either and I wouldn't want a mouth that had just been wrapped around a dozen cocks anywhere near me.'Your my first today Callie, it was a slow morning so I haven't touched anyone else, but I can shower and freshen up if you like'. She nods at me and looks back to the ground. I follow her to her bedroom and she points to the bathroom telling me she will get fresh towels. I really can't complain about her request since her shower is to die for, I have honestly never felt so relaxed than I am after five minutes under the jet stream. Not wanting to give her too much thinking time I brush my teeth and dry myself down. Looking around for my cloths I find Callie has placed a pair of sweats and t-shirt for me on top of my neatly folded clothes. I'm not sure whether she's just incredibly naive or she's going for the girlfriend experience but either way I go with it. Looking in the mirror I realise I have washed all of my make up away, my slight tan will have to suffice until I get my purse from the living area, my normally bouncy golden curls are wet and bedraggled looking more dirty blonde now wet, my blue eyes are as blue as ever but this is a long way from my work attire and I'm not sure looking like this I can make Callie want to come back for more.

'Hey thanks for the clothes but are you sure you don't want me to wear my own?' I ask as I enter the bedroom 'oh and if you give me a sec I can sort out my makeup'.

'No Arizona you don't have to, you look perfect' the compliment slipped from Callie's mouth and from the look on her face shocked even her. I couldn't help but smile at her this was a crazy day but it was turning into one of the nicest I've seen in a long time. 'thank you Callie, I just want you to be comfortable and for this to be enjoyable for you I'm here to please'  
She didn't acknowledge what I'd said instead addressing the money side of things 'so how much do you charge? Is it by the hour or...I think it's been about an hour so far so errrrr...' she doesn't finish so I answer 'depends what you want but if it takes longer than an hour it's an hourly rate, it's $50 an hour'.

I don't know what I'm expecting her to say but what comes out of her mouth is definitely not it 'how much for the day? oh and night...for 24 hours? Is it just twelve hundred or is it more because it's all at once?' My jaw dropped and I had to scramble for words 'You want me for the day?' surely she isn't serious, a few minutes ago she wasn't sure she could go through with this now she wants 24 hours. If I played this careful I could make enough money for two months rent, if I told Jayceon I was with Callie until say 10 tonight that's another 12 hours I don't have to cut him in on.

'Yes I'd like you to stay, if that is ok? If it's allowed?' Callie reaches over to her bedside dresser she pulls out a small pile of hundred bills and counts out twelve, putting the remaining few back in safely. Handing them to me she sends me a sheepish smile almost childlike. Looking at her sat cross legged on her bed looking down at her hands she looked so vulnerable, she intrigued me and I couldn't help but wonder what was eating her up inside _'It's none of your business I'm just here to work'_ I tell myself, let's face it I'm not getting paid to be her shrink I'm here to get her off. Speaking of 'ok that's the money taken care of why don't you tell me what you want do first' I tell her as I reach over and secure the money in my denim jacket pocket.

'I thought we're just going to lie down for awhile' her voice is soft and I can tell she's nervous again. 'Sure that's fine we can just lie down until you're ready' I tell her trying not to spook her again. Climbing onto the bed I encourage her to lay back and she follows my lead and we lay on her bed, both facing the ceiling neither saying anything. We stay this way for a few minutes until she makes the first move, her hand finds mine and she simply interlocks our fingers never breaking her gaze from the ceiling above her. Her touch is electric just holding her hand has my head spinning, this isn't suppose to happen I'm not suppose to enjoy this I never have before I've never enjoyed any trick, none have ever produced a reaction from me. No, when I work I'm dead inside it's like my body is there but I'm immune to feeling anything, it's the only way to get through it.

Not knowing what to say I wait for her next move. I don't have to wait long before she begins to speak 'are you tired? It's crazy I've had plenty of sleep but I'm just so sleepy' out the corner of my eye I can see she's looking at me. I turn on my side to face her never letting go of her hand 'this is all on you Callie, if you want to sleep we sleep, if you want to fuck we fuck, if you want me to go down on you while you go to sleep we can do that too, just tell me what you want and I will do it'. I instantly regret my boldness when I see her face pale somewhat 'no, no you don't have to do that...no I wasn't asking you...I mean I was just saying I'm sleepy, shit I'm so sorry'. I stroke a few strands of hair behind her ear, seemingly soothing her before I continue on 'Callie you don't have to apologise, I'm a hooker, you picked me up I'm assuming you did so for sex, I'm also assuming you're pretty horny or why else stop for me. Look you have a need I have the means to satisfy that need, so why don't you tell me what you had in mind as you pulled up in front of me'.

Callie pales further and looks incredibly uncomfortable, I can see her composing herself and when her words come out they are shaky and deafly quite 'when I pulled up I just thought you were pretty, nothing else just how hot you are. I wasn't really expecting it I wasn't expecting to stop. My friend Mark said I should pick someone up to well you know but he said that I shouldn't go downtown because I wouldn't find anyone I'd like. But well curiosity got the better of me and I was just looking but then I saw you and well you know the rest'. I'm used to this I know a lot of the girls on the block are rough at best; it's mainly the drugs that make them so, men see me and it's like their jackpot I'm relatively cheap and don't look like a junkie. I smoke a bit of dope and some crack but not as much as the rest and not for as long so I'm still pretty decent looking. It's why Jayceon sets my rates higher than most of the other girls. 'That's sweet Callie I'm glad you like me and I'm glad you stopped. But really it's ok to tell me what you want'.

Looking back at the ceiling she almost whispers 'I don't think I want you to touch me, I mean I do want you, but I just don't want you this way'.

'Well what way do you want me Callie because this is me, this is who I am and this is what you're paying for?' I'm genuinely confused now, what is she expecting from me? She's looking away from me, when I reach out and turn her face to me she's I see silent tears making tracks down her cheeks 'hey, Callie please don't cry we don't have to do anything you don't want to. I promise you can have me whatever way you want'. My attempts at soothing her backfire and she audibly sobs. I really don't want to lose this job its easy money but I don't know what she wants, she takes a few minutes to compose herself before facing me again. Her eyes are red and puffy and she sniffles, I can't help but think how adorable she is and given any other situation I'd have asked her out, but instead here I am being bought by her. 'I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do either' Callie's words seem to continuously surprise me she is strangely endearing.

'Look Callie I have rent and bills to pay and I have literally nothing in the cupboards at home, whether with you or not I will be hooking today and tomorrow and well each day after that, so regardless of your wishes I will be doing things I don't want to do. Please believe me when I say I would much prefer to be with you, here in this beautiful apartment, in this comfy clean bed than with anyone else anywhere else' my little speech does the trick and she snuggles into me, I thank the heavens my easy day is back on the cards as I stroke her back. I think I've figured her out, she's the type who wants the girlfriend experience she wants the gentle caress and the sweeties and darlings. Well she's in look I happen to make the perfect girlfriend even if it's just for the day.

Happy with my analysis of Callie I find myself once again shocked by callies words and in need for a new explanation for what she wants from me 'I can do that I can give you that, we will stay here in my apartment in this comfy bed. You don't have to do anything else you can just stay here. Oh and I'll stay here too and you can keep rubbing my back, yeah that's it problem solved then we both get what we want'. Yeah it's official I have no fucking clue what's going on what does she mean we'll just lay here, is she planning to let me keep the money? Or is this her way of telling me the deal is off again?


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own any of the rights to the characters and don't intend to make any money from this story. The plot and story are all mine I'm just borrowing the main players. **

**Hey guys thanks for the reviews and follows I appreciate it. Someone mentioned that my story had already been done or at least something similar to it, I've had a look but I can't find anything similar to mine. Could you send me the name of the story or the link so I can make sure mine isn't following the same plot? **

**I'm also looking for a beta reader, if you're interested let me know. I have the next two chapters written I just need someone's opinion on a few aspects.**

**Chapter 2**

'Listen Callie if you don't want to do this you need to tell me know, I can't lose any more money than I already have'. She turns on her side to face me again, her brow furrowed in confusion 'what do you mean lose money? I've already paid you'. Is she serious? She's going to pay me to lie down next to her and rub her back?

'Callie are you saying you're still going to pay me if we just sleep together, I mean literally sleep next to each other? You're basically going to give me $1200 to do nothing?' There has to be a catch here surely but she just nods her head then snuggles back into me her head resting against my shoulder. Fuck me this will be easy money she's paying me for a back rub. Pondering my luck doesn't last long, my phone beeps letting me know I have a message I already know who it will be, it's been over the hour Jayceon will be checking on me. I grab my phone and send a quick text keeping the screen out of Callie's view. I tell him a trick has me until 10 tonight and I will drop his cut in the morning, I lie and tell him it's in a motel on 23rd for some reason I care enough to not want Callie to be robbed after I leave.

'Do you do drugs?' For all her fumbling around conversations Callie can be direct when she wants to be. I don't really know what she wants to hear from me; clearly my ability to read Callie isn't amazing so I opt for the truth 'Yeah sometimes, I smoke some dope and if I have the money some crack. I'm not like the other girls though I'm not shooting up or anything, no needles'. Lay here in the calmness that was Callie's home I cringed at my response, cringed at the fact that I was a drug user and that I just implied dope was ok if I didn't use needles. What must this woman think of me? God what must anyone who passes me in the street think of me. It's been a long time since I allowed myself to really think about my life, it hurt too much to do so it killed me a little more each time, and well I didn't have much more to lose. I stop myself from crying reminding myself that this is work and I don't cry at work I check myself and I get on with it, I can fall apart later at home away from anyone's prying eyes.

'Are you addicted? I mean could you go a day without anything?' Her voice doesn't carry the judgemental tone I expect, she simply wants to know. 'I feel the pull towards it the dope I mean, like I've been doing it more and more. I could maybe go a day without it but I'd feel it, by tomorrow I'll feel a bit ill and generally pretty unapproachable, so obviously not great for working'. I thought she'd pull out of my embrace but she remains completely still, her body totally relaxed 'How long will you feel ill for?'

'Not sure really I'm not a heavy user maybe a few days' I stroke her back again and she groans in pleasure. In the last few years I've had countless sexual encounters and that single sound she makes is the sexiest most intimate moment I've ever had. I can't help but hug her tighter, resting my cheek in her silky black hair and inhaling her hairs fruity scent 'what came first your job or your habit?' I let out a chuckle at her question, not that I find if particularly amusing just at how inevitable the question was everyone assumes the habit is the reason for the job. 'Job then drugs, I had no food or any place to stay when my parents threw me out so the job wasn't so much a choice as a necessity. The drugs, well the drugs help me get through the job. I guess it's a vicious circle.'

Not giving me a reprieve from her questions she quickly follows up 'how old are you?' Her hand has found my still wet hair; she's playing with the bottom of a curl twisting it around her finger. 'I'm 21, before you ask I've been doing this for three years nearly four' I hear her gasp at my answer I'm not sure if she's shocked at my age or how long I've been doing this, it doesn't take long to find out 'You only look twenty but I just assumed you where older, doing what you do. You've been doing this since you were 18. But you that's just a baby barely an adult, why are you doing this Arizona?'

'I don't really want to go into it Callie it's a long story and well it doesn't have a happy ending.' I run my hand along her arm hoping she'll let this one drop. Granting me my wish she changes the subject 'I'm a doctor, well a surgeon, 4th year resident. You're not supposed to be impressed or anything I just wanted to tell you something about me. I only recently discovered I'm attracted to women; it was more one woman in particular really. We didn't end up being together she had a choice between starting something serious with me or a new job, there was only ever one option for her. Anyway I was left looking pretty foolish, not that that's anything remotely new for me. I'm kind of a joke well my life is anyway.' Her dejected tone as she wraps up herself loathing autobiography gets to me, I can't fight the feeling of wanting to comfort her but I don't have the first clue how to.

I can feel myself drifting into sleep, I fight it as best I can not wanting to fall asleep in a strangers bed but tiredness overcomes me. I'm not entirely sure how long I was asleep for but when I wake up I'm disorientated and alone. I can hear music and voices in the other room I'm almost positive it's just the TV; still I creep out of bed and peep round the door just to be sure. The distinctive theme tune to the harry potter movies plays out and I follow the sound into Callie's living area. I mustn't be very quite on my feet because her head whips around and she spots me as soon as I enter. Smiling at me she hits the mute button 'hey did you have a nice sleep?'

'Yeah I did thanks, how long was I out for? You could have woken me you know' I still have no clue what is going on with her, she's paying $50 an hour and she's letting me sleep through her time. She looks at her watch then smiles at me 'a few hours it's 6:30, you looked so peaceful and plus if you sleep through me getting showered and changed then you must have needed it'.

'Thank you Callie I really did. Listen what are we doing here am I still staying until tomorrow or have you changed your mind?' She seems so shocked that I'd even ask she really is an enigma.

'Look Arizona I've given you the money, I not going to ask for it back that's yours we had a deal and I won't go back on it. That being said I don't want anything from you, so as I said earlier if you would maybe keep me company it would be awesome. If you feel like you want to leave at any point that's your decision, if you stay I promise I won't change my mind and ask you to do anything... err...sexual or anything'.

Being shocked seems to be the running theme of the day; I can't help but smile at her proposal. On one hand if I take the money and leave I can work until later and make even more money, but on the other hand when in my life am I ever going to get to stay in a nicer place. Plus Callie is nice company despite her random jitteriness 'I'll stay Callie it's only fair plus you have a comfier bed than me' I add with a teasing smile. Smiling back at me she lifts her blanket and gestures for me to sit next to her on the sofa. Accepting her offer I try not to take up to much space, I don't want to get in her space and make her regret inviting me to stay. I needn't have bothered though as she leans in and wraps her blanket around me.

Callie hits the volume button and the movie comes to life, I've seen the first four movies but I never managed to catch the rest. I'm not really sure what one this is I just know I haven't seen it before. I don't ask Callie to catch me up since she seems to have gotten instantly absorbed in the movie. As the movie rolls on Callie relaxes, subconsciously snuggling into and toying with my hair. An hour in and my stomach begins to show it's displease at my lack of attention. I look at my knees sheepishly as Callie is disturbed by the sound, I can feel her looking at me but I don't want to meet her gaze, after all she knows about me I have no idea why my hunger embarrasses me. I guess I'm not used to needing things from other people; it's been a long time since I've relied on anyone but myself. But while I'm here I'm kind of reliant on Callie for the basics and it makes me uncomfortable. Sensing my discomfit her hand brushes against my cheek, urging me to look at her. When her physical attempts fail she begins to speak her voice gentler than I've heard almost the tone she would use with a small child. 'You can be hungry. You can have needs its okay Arizona, everyone has needs'. She's figured it out I don't know how but she can read me, clearly she understands the significance of my being ashamed of needing something from her. I know the implications of her words are intended to extend beyond my immediate hunger.

I feel incredibly vulnerable sat here with intense chocolate eyes fixed on me, apparently I'm open to her like a book. I attempt to put my guards up to get myself in check but honestly I don't even know how they came down in the first place 'It's ok Callie I don't usually eat until later on anyway, keep watching your film'.

'What don't be silly you're hungry, you're hungry and I have food and a kitchen so you're getting food...which I will cook in my kitchen. So what food do you like?' She leaves little room for argument with her silly fragmented speech.

'Thank you...I eat anything well anything accept mushrooms'. Making her way to her kitchen my eyes are stuck on her, god how can someone's pyjama clad ass be so cute. I stop the thoughts I can't think like this, I can't allow myself to like her, not when I'm going to say goodbye tomorrow and never see her again, not when I'm going to be a story with her best friend at the coffee cart tomorrow, a woeful story of her failed attempts with a whore. No if I'm a whore to her she has to be a trick to me, no feelings no pain still she's making it fucking hard.

So Callie can cook, she can save lives and she can cook, that's what I've learnt from the last hour. Callie had set her table and we'd sat and eaten Callie's Mexican cuisine which according to her where well guarded family recipes. It had been so long since I had sat at a table with another person to eat it felt strange. Not for long though Callie was so easy to be with she had told me all about her job including a particularly amusing story about an unfortunate man and a fold away chair. I even found myself telling Callie some stories from when I was a kid, telling her about all the trouble my brother about me into. After we'd finished Callie loaded her dishwasher and suggested we watch the next harry potter movie. Too an outsider the evening would be a perfectly normal date night, but how far from normality this was for me was a sobering thought. I could stay here doing this forever, just living this life, coming home after doing a normal job and settling in for the night with Callie, just being here with her. But that isn't how this is going down; no I'm going home back to my apartment back to the hands of whoever had some spare cash that week. The thought made me feel sick, well that or I was starting to feel slight withdrawals.

Nearing the end of the movie my phone sounds out from the bedroom, knowing there is only one person I know who ever has enough credit on their phone to ring I already know it's Jayceon. Telling Callie I have to take the call so everyone knows I'm safe I head into the bedroom. It would be so fucking easy to rob her she's so trusting, she's leaving me by myself for the second time in her bedroom, with her two jewellery boxes on show, her iPad plugged in next to the bed and I know from earlier there is a stack of money in her bedside draw. I have to admit if she was any other john I would have taken at the least her money, but I don't want to take from Callie I don't want to punish her for showing me kindness. Avoiding looking around the room not want to tempt myself with seeing the easy money Callie has left dotted around it, I find my phone in my jacket pocket and sure enough I have a missed call from Jayceon. I'm writing him a text as he phones me back 'hey what's up Jayceon?'

'Where you at girl I got you some work?' I've already told him working until 10 what the fuck.

'I told you I'm taken until 10 then I'm done for the night I've been out since 10 this morning' what is his fucking problem I'm going to hand him his share of 12 straight hours that's more than anyone else will hand over today.

'That guy you took last week, the one with the brand new range rover wants to see you. He's been by like twice already, I told him you won't be here again tonight but he's offering paper for you girl. He's saying $200 for the hour, cut your boy in the motel off its only an hour you lose on him anyway and get back here'. Oh god the guy with the range, why the fuck was he back he was such a freak and so fucking rough, I can tell Jayceon isn't going to take no for an answer, if I didn't get back myself he was going to come get me.

'Okay okay I'll be about 30 minutes' I know what he's going to ask before he opens his mouth and sure enough he doesn't disappoint 'girl where you at, you said motel Western didn't you, it's 5 minutes tops away?'

'I need to get cleaned up and I need some food, what the fucks your problem jay?' I can tell he's bought it, as pimps go he's not one of the worst but I still can't risk him suspecting I'm lying he'll get Callie's address out of me without any doubt 'Alright girl calm down I'll let him know to pick you up outside the liquor store in 30'.

Well so much for my stress free Callie filled night, an hour with this guy was the equivalent to a whole day of normal tricks. He left me covered in bruises last time some of them are still there. I get changed back into my clothes putting Callie's into her hamper. The sound of my boots hitting her hardwood floor attracts Callie's attention as soon as I enter the room. She looks at me her face harbouring disappointment but clear understanding that I'm leaving 'so this is goodbye then, would you like me to drop you off anywhere?'It's strange but her disappointed tone makes me feel warm, I'm not glad she's sad but I'm glad she's sad I'm leaving.

'No Callie you've been to kind already and there is a bus stop right outside your building'. She shakes her head and stands up throwing the blanket off herself 'no you can't do that I don't want you walking around that part of town at night'. I laugh at the irony of Callie's words but when she looks up I can see confusion in her eyes like she hasn't a clue what I find so funny 'err Callie it kind of goes with the territory'.

Talking Callie into not dropping me off was a considerable task. As she stood at her door allowing me to pass by her she bows her head, I turn back to face her snaking an arm around her waist and kiss her forehead 'thank you Callie you really don't understand what this means to me, I wish I could have stayed the whole night with you. Whatever has happened to make you so sad I hope that it doesn't make you sad for too long, you deserve happiness. Find what makes you happy Callie'.

I was lucky with the buses catching one almost as soon as I stepped out of the apartment building, I got off a few blocks early and walked towards the liquor store I walk past Jayceon who nods his head to the right in the direction of the range rover stopped waiting for me. Oh god I really don't want to do this, for the first time in a long time I could cry I guess having such a strange day has had an effect on me. Taking a deep breath I reach for the handle of the car and let myself in. He doesn't speak to me just pulls off and heads into the car park of the motel we used last time.

Once we get inside the room he pulls out his wallet and throws the money onto the floor. I reach down to get it thinking of how much of a dick this guy actually is. When I stand up again I find him smirking at me '$200, one hour anything I want that's what your pimp agreed so let's not waste anymore time. Strip' I find a spot on the wall over his shoulder I think it's a blood spot and fix my eyes on it while I do as he says. Once he has me fully naked his hand reaches around my throat and he starts to exert pressure, I try to pull away after a few seconds of him showing no signs of easing up; his grip only tightens at my protests. I start to panic and pull harder when he finally releases his grip I'm feeling dizzy and gasping for air 'I told you already you stupid little bitch I get whatever I want for the next hour, now on your knees'. I'm about to do as he says when I feel his hand across the back of my head, the force knocking me to my knees quicker as his hand wraps around my hair yanking my head back. Opening my eyes I see his hand coming towards my face, there's nothing I can do but close my eyes again as he makes contact with my cheek sending my head spinning. I pull from his grip crawling towards my clothes and my phone, Jayceon will sort this out he won't have my face marked again it's bad for business. He doesn't let me reach it though when it's within touching distance I feel a searing pain in my stomach where his foot has come into contact with me. It knocks the wind from me and once again I'm struggling for breath before I can take stock of the situation everything turns black.

I wake up to a banging in my head but also in my ears. I sit up on the bed trying to understand what is happening. A voice through the motel room door clears the fog from my mind 'times up you've got five minutes to get outta here, you want it for another hour let me know now?' What the fuck did he do I've been out for an hour 'no, no I'll be gone in a minute'. My head still spinning I stumble to the bathroom my legs feeling like jelly. I can feel that he's fucked me as I walk and I find his used condom in the toilet bowl which confirms it. As violated as I'm feeling I'm relieved he used it, all at once it hits me what he's done to me. I mean every time I'm with any of them I feel violated I feel sickened its why I can't let myself dwell on it why I have to shut down, but him, well he's taken something I wasn't prepared to sell, my freedom. All the air has left my lungs and my stomach flips; I don't make it to the toilet and end up vomiting into the sink. Tears are flowing freely now and it takes every bit of strength I have left to stop them, not here not yet I tell myself over and over.

The fluorescent light of the bathroom makes my head throb all the more; looking in the mirror I can already see bruises forming over my cheek and around my eye. Looking down I understand why my whole body is feeling so sore there are marks across my abdomen clearly his first kick hadn't been his last. Getting dressed was horribly difficult given my inability to bend even slightly. I seriously hope he hasn't broken any ribs. Putting on my jacket I check the money is still there thankful the bastard hasn't touched anything.

I was going to grab some groceries on my way home, at least that was my original plan but now with how painful walking the first block home was I decided it would be better to go hungry. I seriously hoped Kel had a hit or a rock spare because I don't think I'll be able to wait for a drop off. The walk home was excruciating and as I turned the corner I realised being able to pass out in my bed wasn't going to be an option. Sirens sounded and blue flashing lights erupted all of them parked at the entrance of my apartment block. I saw Kel standing outside with a couple of other girls when she saw me her face dropped even in this light she could see I was fucked up 'what happened? You ok? Tommy has flipped out again shot at some dude down the block and now he's locked himself in his apartment says he's got a hostage, he's a fucking prick I was halfway through getting dressed how am I gonna get work looking like this I'm in sweats'.

'Yeah I'm ok just had some dick for my last call of the night, I feel like I could pass out though I could seriously do without this shit again. What do you think our chances of getting back in anytime soon are?' Kel gives me a sympathetic hug knowing from experience to be gentle 'I don't think we have any chance baby girl, I'm gonna borrow some clothes off Ash and get to work. You gonna be ok waiting around? Ash will let you stay if you need to'. I really did need to sleep but I wouldn't be able to at Ash's it was basically a crack house with people coming from all over to shoot up. 'I'm good thanks Kel I'm just going to grab some coffee at the diner and wait it out'. That was my plan anyway as I headed off towards the diner but it hit me somewhere along the way that Callie had a nice bed and she had wanted me to stay, oh and she had that shower which would be amazing right now. But would she want me turning up like this? She's probably had time to think about me and realised how bad having me in her home is. Still it's worth the risk she might let me stay with her. I flag a cab down avoiding eye contact with the driver who has almost certainly figured out what I am. Giving him Callie's address I try to get comfy in the backseat. Needless to say I don't have much look with that and every tiny pot hole the cab hits jars my ribs, by the time I reach Callie's I'm close to tears and feel so dizzy I can barely gets out the cab.

At the entrance of Callie's apartment block it hits me how ridiculous I've been coming here, Callie isn't going to want someone turning up at her front door looking like this; she's going to be disgusted. That might not be a problem though since I can't even remember what Callie's apartment number is and it's too late to just try buzzing a few. I sit at the bus stop outside of her apartment I can see a 24 hour diner just down the street but I'm feeling too weak to make it. I'll just sit and wait for a bus. I can only have been waiting 5 minutes when I feel the first few drops of rain, looking up at the heavens I plead to the great unknown for some mercy. It looks like I'm shit out of look when the heavens open and it pours. I sit on the bench head bowed soaked to the bone, the throb of my body becoming more intense screaming its need for rest. Tears again start to fall from my eyes but I doubt anyone would look twice while they run for shelter, I'm wrong a hand is gently placed on my shoulder and I jerk around to face the culprit, a decision I regret instantly as the pain of my movement hits me like a tidal wave and I keel over in pain.

A soothing voice dances in my ear as the white hot pain passes to dull agonising ebbs 'Arizona can you hear me? Arizona please let me know if you can hear me, its okay sweetie just try to take a deep breath'. I open my eyes and meet pools of chocolate worry, after holding my gaze for a couple of seconds her eyes dart around my body seemingly checking for injuries before again settling on mine.

'What happened Arizona? Where does it hurt? We should go to the hospital'. I can hear the panic in her voice but she doesn't sound mad at me and she hasn't sent me away so I take it as a good sign.

'I'm ok Callie I just took a bit of a beating but I'm okay no hospital necessary, just some rest. I figured you paid me for the night so I'd see if you still wanted it?' I hope she can't hear the desperation in my voice but when her eyes stare into mine I know it doesn't matter, even if she didn't hear it she's seen it. She doesn't answer me instead simply offers a hand which I take and she gently helps me to stand, leading me slowly into her building. Nothing was said during the elevator journey indeed nothing is said until we reach her bedroom when she turns to look at me 'you need to shower and warm up, I want to check you over it would be easier if you weren't wearing too many clothes, so do you want to strip to your underwear here and I'll check you over then you can jump in the shower'. I nod my agreement but make no moves to take off my clothes I know how much it will hurt. Callie stares expectantly at me before it dawns on her I may require help 'would you like me to help with your clothes?' Again all she receives is my nod in response.

Callie gingerly removes my clothes conscious of hurting me in anyway. Once removed her hands move over my abdomen exerting slight pressure in places while her eyes gauging my reaction. 'I don't think there is any internal bleeding your abdomen isn't showing the hardness we associate with it, still I can't be sure if you won't go to the hospital, I'm going to have to keep checking you over. You may have a broken rib but again I can't be sure'. Her gentle caresses have reduced me to tears, it has been so long since someone was so gentle with my body its broke me, as crazy as it sounds all the pain its suffered and her gentle ministrations have broken it, I've lost control of it. My eyes stream and her hand cups my un-bruised cheek lifting my face to her.

'it's okay to not be okay with this Arizona, it's okay to cry about this, someone has hurt you and that isn't okay, it's okay to acknowledge that. Would you like to tell me about what happened?' how can I tell her what happened? How will she even look at me let alone let me stay when she knows how dirty I am. My doubt fades though when she starts to wipe the tears from my eyes and that's the final straw, the words spill from my mouth before I can stop them 'I didn't want to leave Callie I didn't' I have to stop until I can get my sobbing under control 'he would have come and taken me if I didn't, he'd already agreed the price. It was a guy from last week. God I hated him Callie but he agreed it with Jayceon. He just kept hitting me and then it went black'. Callie looked confused but seemingly caught onto the general idea of what had happened 'I'm so sorry Arizona I wish this hadn't happened to you. Arizona how long did you black out for? Do you think he could have...I mean I'm sure you would know if he...r-raped you?'

I can't even look her in the eyes, hearing her say it made me feel even dirtier. I know she's waiting for an answer but words are difficult to find. After a minute of silence i gather the courage to look at her, as always there is no judgement in her eyes just concern, it almost makes it harder to admit the truth knowing it will sadden her.

'Yeah he did Callie, he paid to fuck me and he did. He used a condom but I don't know anything else'. I have never felt more disgraced than I do right now. Standing in front of her admitting what I am and what he did I really don't see a point anymore, I don't know why I'm bothering to exist. Callie isn't disgusted in me though she's kind and gentle and angry but not at me. 'Sweetie I'm so sorry I wish I'd never let you leave. That son of a bitch! What was his name? I swear to god I'll fucking kill him'. Her hands are flying and her eyes show a fire a fight I've not seen in her she's furious but at the same time so caring. She's the reason to carry on existing at least for tonight anyway.

'I don't know Callie and I don't want you killing anyone. But if it's ok I would like a shower?' it was the truth I wanted to wash the last couple of hours away so badly.

'No Arizona you can't shower until you have spoken to the police'. My head whipped up at this she can't be serious she wants m to report it? 'No Callie I'm not talking to the police'.

'Of course you are Arizona he can't get away with this'. She really was naive wasn't she 'Callie what do you think they're going to do, I'm gonna go in there and tell them that I took $200 off some stranger for him to do whatever he likes to me, but I didn't like it when he got rough. I'm a whore Callie and when they see me they will know it and they won't give a fuck'. I can see she wants to protest but she knows enough to know I'm right, they won't do anything my word means nothing I mean nothing to them

'Please Callie can I shower?' I managed to shower and even wash my hair but by the end I was feeling sick again. I ended up vomiting in Callie's toilet and I was thankful that Callie hadn't thrown out the toothbrush I used earlier. Leaving the bathroom I find some pyjamas and fresh panties that Callie has left out for me. I struggle with the panties and successfully get them on but the rest is a failure, I have to shout to Callie for help.

Once I'm changed I allow Callie to help me into her bed and watch as she climbs in the other side. She doesn't speak just takes my hand in hers kissing it gently before entwining our fingers 'night Arizona I'm glad you came back'.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own any of the rights to the characters and don't intend to make any money from this story. The plot and story are all mine I'm just borrowing the main players. **

**Thank you for all of your nice reviews, I apologise if the story has been a little rough for some of you. I think it would be impossible to write a story like this without some pretty dark moments. **

**This chapter is considerably shorter than the last but it just worked out this way. **

**Chapter 3**

I woke to soft hands sliding across my tummy; she's so gentle in her exploration. Slowly she moves across my abdomen applying slight pressure to the more sensitive areas. I control my breathing so she doesn't know she woke me, I want to see what she does, I'm not sure what exactly I'm expecting but I guess what feels like a lifetime of distrust has done affected me.

Not surprisingly she doesn't do anything, simply pulls my t-shirt back down my stomach and lies back down.

Now that she has woken me I'm finding it difficult to drift back off, my body is throbbing and I can feel the withdrawals hitting full force. My body is trembling and I've broken out in a cold sweat. This isn't good what am I gonna do? I can't get a drop off here, I'm gonna have to wake Callie and get her to drive me home there is no way I'll make it on my own.

With as little movement as possible I shake Callie 'Callie wake up...Callie' she sits bolt upright and I can see even in the darkness I've startled her 'w-what...I'm awake what's wrong? Are you ok?'

'Yeah Callie don't worry I'm ok, but I need you to take me home' I realise how much I'm putting Callie out but I have no choice I won't be able to wait outside for a cab. Callie's voice sounds confused and a little annoyed 'you can't be serious Arizona look at you; you can barely move you can't take on another client? I'm still not even sure you don't have any internal bleeding'

'No Callie this isn't work, I'm not going to do that. I need...god this is shit...I need a hit Callie, my skin is fucking crawling and I cant take it anymore' it really does feel shitty to admit just how pathetic I am to Callie, even she wont be able to help judging me for this.

'I can get you something for that. Not like get you something in the drug dealer kind of way, something legal...from the hospital, I can get it for you. It won't be the same as what you want but it will take the edge off the withdrawals, it won't really help the pain though'. Callie looks expectantly at me her big brown eyes looking hopefully into mine, I don't have any explanation for why but I can see Callie cares what happens to me. 'I can't let you do that Callie you know I don't have the money for that and you could get in trouble for prescribing it to me' Callie wasn't the only one who cared; I couldn't let her get in trouble for me. That being said anything that could take the edge off would be amazing right now.

'Let me worry about that Arizona I just need you not to leave while I go get it, can you do that for me? Can you promise me you will stay right here?' her face is showing worry once again but I can see she's not willing to let me say no, so I answer her with a nod. Getting out of bed she dresses quickly clumsily tying her hair back and heading out the door.

Feeling wobbly I cautiously make my way to the bathroom but the exertion causes another wave of nausea to wash over me, and I spend the next fifteen minutes becoming aquatinted with Callie's toilet bowl. When Callie returns she finds me rather awkwardly sprawled across her tiled floor my back leaning against the door of her shower door. At this point I don't even have the energy to attempt to be embarrassed by Callie seeing me in this state, the nausea has kicked in now and I can focus on nothing else. I vaguely notice a tap running but don't think anything of it until I feel a cold wetness on my forehead 'hmm...that's nice keep doing that'. I hear Callie chuckle and her promising me that she will. She puts a glass to my mouth telling me to drink which is surprisingly difficult to do; I'm not sure how much I actually swallow but at least half falls from the sides of my mouth.

'Open your mouth sweetie and lift up your tongue. I'm going to put a strip under your tongue, don't speak or swallow or try to move the strip just let it dissolve, it will make you feel better I promise'. Callie's words are blurred but I do as she asks, I feel her slip something under my tongue then softly push my lower jaw closed, following her instructions I allow the strip to melt but I don't feel any of its effects. When I take a hit it does just that it hits me instantly, it's an instant euphoria an instant relief from the world from any pain I'm feeling but this is the exact opposite, I feel nothing but pain absolutely no respite from it.

When I voice my displeasure to Callie my voice sounds strange to my ears almost like I'm hearing it through a tunnel 'I don't feel it Callie, I need more'. Cracking my eyes open just enough to see her but not enough to let too much light into my sensitive eyes, I see her shaking her head at me 'no sweetie you've had enough it just takes a little while to work, I can give you some painkillers but that's it'.

Her words feel like she's mocking me and a red hot anger swells in my stomach, giving me a new found energy and my words spew out at her with venom 'Fuck you Callie I'm telling you it isn't enough I need more, you made me stay here you fucking promised me you'd help. Get me my phone I'll get something myself'. I guess it must be all the hours Callie has worked the E.R that makes her immune to this sort of verbal assault, but she doesn't even flinch just strokes some of my now sticky hair off my forehead and places another damp flannel in its place. Allowing me to sit and wallow for a couple of minutes she finally decides her next move 'come on then sweetie let's get you back in bed' I want to protest by my new found energy has decapitated and I can't be bothered fighting her. Allowing her to help me to my feet and into bed I watch her walk out of her room hear her opening cupboards, finally I watch her return carrying some Tylenol and a glass of water.

'Here you go Arizona hopefully these will help with the pain a little, the Suboxone I just gave you should kick in anytime now. Is there anything I can do to help you in the mean time?'Callie's voice plays in its usual calm and reassuring tone, it reminds me of how my mum used to sooth me when I was sick as a kid. 'No just stay with me, please' I don't receive a verbal reply instead she climbs into bed and turns off her bedside lamp. I don't know when exactly it happens or how long it actually took but I gradually feel the effects of whatever Callie had given me. Slowly my body felt lighter the throb dulled and I felt the relief of escape, the drugs effect allowed me to slip into the sleep my body had been demanding.

When I wake next the room took a lot longer than usual to come into focus, I could feel that my eye was swollen from where he'd hit me, but I could still feel the effects of Callie's drugs. The pain and nausea I expected to feel was considerably less prevalent than I had anticipated the edge had been taken off of my withdrawals, and I was very glad of it.

Sitting up didn't feel like much of an option even with the drugs assistance, so I snuggled further into Callie's devout wondering where Callie was, I can see from the clock that it's not even 7 AM yet but stretching my arm to Callie's side of the bed I can feel it's been empty for awhile. I lay for a little while looking at the ceiling, until I hear Callie's front door opening and the sound of footsteps approaching her room. Maybe it's the drugs or maybe I just feel safe in Callie's home but I don't make any attempt to move or even bother to watch who comes through her bedroom door. My confidence isn't proven misplaced when I hear the clunk of someone kicking the bedpost followed by Callie's whispered curses. I have to bite my lip to stop from laughing, which I do successfully I don't want Callie to know I'm awake, I'm so comfy here I don't want to leave just yet but I know I will have to once she knows I'm awake. Callie has been kind but I know I shouldn't have come here last night; she shouldn't have had to deal with me in that state.

I feel the bed shift and feel her move closer to me, her body radiating coldness she snuggles further into the bed stealing my heat. 'You found that funny huh? To think I thought I'd get sympathy' my stomach drops, I guess it's time to go home.

'maybe just a little tiny bit funny, but I promise I'm sympathetic and I have your back in your next fight with the bed' I figure I'll make it easy for her, I know Callie's kindness will make her asking me to leave difficult for her 'so...err...I wanted to say thank you Callie. I turned up on your doorstep in a mess and you helped me, not many people would have done that and I want you to know how grateful I am. I know I shouldn't have come here and I don't want you to worry about it happening again, I promise I won't do it again. If you could maybe help me up and you know help me get dressed I'll let you have your bed back to yourself'.

Her hands find mine and I attempt to use them to pull myself into a sitting position, but she's quick to stop me easing me back into the mattress 'You can't leave Arizona, you can barely move and there is no way that you'll make the bus journey home, you'll pass out before you even make it out my building. You can stay Arizona, you can stay at least until you can walk around by yourself' is she being serious? What the fuck is happening here? How is anyone this nice? Of course I can't accept her offer but still she actually offered.

'Thank you Callie but you know I can't do that. If I don't work I won't be able to pay my rent I have to go' I know it's true but even so I have no idea how I'm going to be able to work even if I manage the journey home.

'Arizona there is no way you can work, you must be able to see that yourself. You need to rest, why not do it here' she is right and I know it but I also know that if I stay here I have to explain to Jayceon why I'm not at home, and that will lead him hear. 'Jayceon will know if I'm not at home Callie, when he finds out where I'm staying he won't leave it Callie he'll rob you trust me. I can't lie to him Callie he'll kill me if he finds out'. She doesn't speak and we both lay there for a couple of minutes, hands still entwined.

Her voice cuts into the silence of the room 'when will he phone you?' where is she going with this did she not listen to me I'm trying to help her. 'Soon I have his money from yesterday, he'll want to do the rounds and pick up he always does it early'. Again there is silence except this time it isn't broken by Callie but by the sound of my phone ringing 'is that him?' I tell her yes and Callie leans across to her dresser where she must have put my phone last night.

I reach out for my phone expecting that she's going to pass it over to me but she doesn't. I watch in horror as she puts the phone to her ear and before I can even attempt to stop her she answers 'Hello this is Dr. Torres, Seattle Grace E.R. department can I ask who I am speaking to?' I can only stare at her in disbelief, she's gave him her fucking name after what I told her less she's gave him her name. I see her nodding her face twisting in disgust 'I see well she isn't able to speak right now, she was brought in last night and is in a serious condition' I can't make out what Jayceon is saying but I can hear sounds from the other end, from Callie's reaction he's being his usual dickish self 'well we don't usually give out those details over the phone, but since your her brother' I see Callie roll her eyes at this 'she is currently unconscious so we're not sure what happened yet, we expect her to be that way for the next few days, should I let the nurses know to expect you?'

Callie covers the phone while she whispers to me 'this guy is a complete asshole, he hasn't even asked if you're going to be ok'. Nodding my agreement I watch Callie roll her eyes for the second time 'Oh right New York well that would be a long trip... yeah...yeah...I'm sure. Do I have a what?' she's stopped looking disgusted now and is leaning more towards furious 'I don't think that my relationship status is any of your business... wow ok, I guess this conversation is over then' she turns to look at me a look somewhere between disbelief and pissed off 'the little prick hung up on'.

Before I have time to scold Callie for what she just did she puts her own phone to her ear and starts a new conversation 'Hi Melanie this is Dr. Torres could you do me a favour...great thank you, I need you to page me if anyone comes in to the hospital or phones asking about a patient by the name of Arizona Robbins...no you won't be able to find her on the system...I know but she isn't actually a patient I just need anyone who comes looking for to think she is, can you do that for me, you don't have to lie just tell them that they need to speak to me and then page me...you're a star Melanie I owe you for this. Oh and can you tell Sarah to do the same...excellent thank you'

Ok now I'm lost, where is she coming from she must be crazy. Actually that would explain a lot of this, she's not kind or generous she's no Good Samaritan she's just batshit crazy! 'Callie I just told you my pimp is likely to rob you if he finds out where I am, and the first thing you do is tell him your name. Oh and what was all that shit about me being unconscious? He's gonna find out and he'll literally kill me for lying to him' try as I may I can't bring myself to shout at her, scold her yes but I can't be truly angry with her and that's pretty terrifying, I've known her less than 24 hours and first I trust her and now I can't get angry at her, what the fuck is going on?

'He won't find out Arizona, he told me he can't visit because he's in New York and if he phones the hospital the receptionist will put him through to me. You can stay here for a couple of days and rest, he's not expecting to hear from you so you can relax and then figure everything out from there'


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own any of the rights to the characters and don't intend to make any money from this story. The plot and story are all mine I'm just borrowing the main players. **

**At the risk of repeating myself thank you for all the kind reviews, it's nice to know you're enjoying it. The next chapter will probably take a little longer since I'm still not entirely sure which way I want to go, I have two different ideas which I can't decide between. **

**Chapter 4 **

'What is there to figure out Callie?' god what has she done? How am I going to fix this? I could just go back home tell Jayceon that the doctor got it wrong, that I wasn't as bad as she had told him he'd believe that right? No of course he wouldn't he'll know I'm hiding something and he already has her name, he'll figure it out. No I'm going to have to stay but what am I going to do about my fixes? I can't call for a drop off Jayceon will definitely find out, Callie isn't going to be able to get more of whatever she gave me, I'm not even sure how she managed it the first time.

Absorbed in my thoughts I forgot I'd asked Callie a question that was until she answered 'everything Arizona, you can figure out what you want to do'. Callie is staring at me as she speaks her fingertips ghosting over the bruises adorning my cheek 'you can't go back to that life, not after what happened to you, you need a new life a different life'. She can't be serious of course I don't want this life, of course I want something different anything different for that matter, she can't seriously think that I choose this world flippantly, that I didn't try everything I could before having to accept this fate.

Instead of the anger her words coming from anyone else would have provoked, I just feel sad like really sad, sadder than I've felt in a long time. She thinks I've chose this, she thinks I've chosen this world. Like I'm only here because I couldn't be bothered figuring out something better to do with my time. I guess it's not her fault she doesn't know me she doesn't know my story but I thought she could see the me, really see me see that this isn't who I am see that I'm not just some drug addict prostitute, every time she looked into my eyes I was so convinced I felt her understanding me. I guess I was wrong.

I need her to know I need her to understand that I have tried, that there isn't another way, I don't have any options here I have this or I starve. I need her to know this isn't what I chose 'it's not that easy Callie, don't you think if I had another option I would have taken it already. I tried getting by and I did for awhile, I worked at a 7/11 when I first left home. They fired me though and there was nothing else out there, I spent a whole month handing out my CV in every store or diner or anywhere else I could think of, but no one would hire me I wasn't qualified for anything and I hadn't had even finished high school. I had nothing at the end of the month, literally no money at all Callie. I had rent to pay and no food left, I didn't know what to do. I asked my landlord for an extra week but he wouldn't let me, but he...err...he said he would wave that month's rent if I...well you can guess what he asked for. I said no at first but after a couple of days I got desperate, I thought it would be just a onetime thing just to get me by. Well after that I still couldn't find a job and my landlord introduced me to Jayceon and the rest is history' she isn't looking at me anymore her eyes are fixed on the ceiling just like the first time I was here, I wonder if I've told her to much but it's too late now I've started so I may as well finish 'I wasn't even 18 Callie, I didn't know what else to do I never thought it was a permanent thing, but Kel my roommate told me that the drugs would help me get through it and once I started them I couldn't really stop. I don't take it like they do but it still uses up my money. I saved up for awhile to buy a ticket out of here, I was gonna head to the East coast; try to get some work you know new state new start. It didn't happen though, Jayceon saw me outside the bus depot and he took the money... I couldn't eat for days my jaw was so swollen after he was done beating on me'.

Callie's hand finds mine once again and she squeezes it, silently encouraging me to continue 'I can't leave here I can't just quit, he would find me and I believe him when he told me he'd kill me. I'm stuck here, so there really isn't anything to figure out'

Turning to face me again her gaze is unwavering staring straight into my eyes, her own full of sadness but also so sincere 'I'm sorry Arizona, I'm sorry for all of it, I'm sorry no one helped you I really am. I can't change anything that has happened to you Arizona but if you let me I can help you now?'

'There isn't anything you can do Callie' she really isn't understanding what I'm saying is she? Her hand breaks free of mine and she places it onto my hip not putting any pressure mindful of how tender my whole body is but still lightly edging me towards her.

'I can get you a ticket out of here, you can leave I'll help you, hell I'll drive you there if you need me to' I can hear by her tone that she's serious, she's almost pleading with me.

'I know you would Callie but you know I can't say yes. It was just a dream I had when I was younger, what would I do once I got there, where would I live?' she knows I'm right I can see the resignation in her eyes and when she speaks next she sounds so deflated 'I don't know...we'll think about this later ok. You can't go back now though you need to let your body heal' she's right of course but I still have my habit to worry about, opening my mouth to voice my concerns she silences me with a finger pressing against my lips 'no Arizona no arguing about this, you can't leave yourself and I'm not driving you so there is nothing to argue about. I know you're worried about the drugs and obviously I can't get them for you but well...I have...well I took a course of Suboxone from the hospital last night, it can help with the withdrawals but it's still gonna be pretty rough for you'.

I'm actually getting used to being surprised by Callie, although that probably makes it not surprising. Less than 24 hours ago I thought she was going to pay me for sex, use me and forget me just like the rest and now...well now she's offering to help me escape, not even offering but demanding that I let her take care of me for the next few days, what sort of person does all of this for a stranger. I don't trust people I haven't for a very long time; it's almost an instinct to expect the worst of everyone to distrust them. It's the way I live I've come to expect that people are always expecting something from me but Callie is different, she has already refused the only thing I have to offer her. Perhaps that is the reason why Callie has managed to slip through all my defences, the reason why she's the first person i have trusted since I left home.

'Won't you get in trouble Callie for taking it?' her finger still hasn't left my lips except now she's tracing the contours of my mouth, her eyes following the trail her finger is making.

'it's ok no one will find out, I'm far from being the first person to dip into the hospitals drug stores' I figured this was how she'd obtained the drugs for me, she couldn't have prescribed it to me when I wouldn't even visit the hospital. 'Thank you Callie, I don't understand why you would take that risk for me but thank you'.

No explanation is offered she simply shakes her head at me 'let's go back to sleep sweetie it's still early and I'm so tired' That reminded me I had totally forgot Callie's earlier absence 'Where did you go Callie?'

'Work, I got paged. I tried to wake you and let you know but you where dead to the world' she's chuckling at me as she tells me and my brow furrows completely at a loss, not at all following Callie's inside joke 'ok...did something funny happen at work or something?'

'God no, nothing funny at all, some drunk guy managed run over his equally drunk friends foot on his lawn mower'. Eww Callie must have to deal with some pretty horrific sights.

'Well what so funny then?' her chuckling starts up again 'nothing I just hadn't pegged you for a snorer'.

'that's because I'm not!' she laughs louder at my valiant protests shaking her head at me again 'ok sweetie but you definitely do, seriously you sounded like a bear or maybe a drill...like a big drill...the sort of drill that you'd use to dig through concrete'.

'I don't believe you I never snore, Kel would definitely have told me if I did' my bottom lip is now firmly stuck out as I sulk at her accusations. Her finger finds my lips again and becomes intimately familiar with my famous Arizona pout, the same pout which for years helped me sucker my brother into doing whatever I wanted. It had always worked on him he used to say it was his kryptonite. It appears it has a similar effect on Callie who replaces her teasing tone with a more gentle but still mildly amused one 'Don't worry sweetie it was probably a onetime thing, it will be the swelling around your nose' she runs the tip of her finger delicately along the bridge of my nose to emphasise her point.

Our conversation stops as we both start drifting into sleep, I'm on the brink when a thought hits me, it didn't even register last night given how fucked up I was but now I'm curious 'Callie' I hear her groan at me for denying her sleep 'one last question Callie then I'll let you sleep'.

'Okay what is it?'

'How did you know I was outside last night? You had pyjamas on so you must have come from your apartment'.

Callie takes a few seconds to answer and I have to turn my head to check she hasn't fell back asleep, when she does speak her voice is quite but decidedly more awake 'I was looking out of the widow, I thought I saw you get out of a cab but I couldn't be sure if it was you from just the back of your head. Then I couldn't see you anymore and you didn't press my buzzer so I figured I was wrong it wasn't you, but I couldn't let it go so I came down to check. I was looking up the street but I couldn't see anyone, when I was heading back inside I saw you sitting at the bus stop'

'I'm glad you decided to come and check; I couldn't remember what your apartment number was. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come outside.' I lean down and rest my forehead against hers, ghosting my lips against her own. My eyes are closed but I know her eyes have slammed open in surprise her body tensed the second our lips made contact. Hoping I haven't ruined anything I pull away giving her some distance. The kiss hadn't been intended as anything sexual just as a thank you, I hope Callie knows that. I hope I have made her uncomfortable.

The room is silent again but not the comfortable silence like before, there is tension and its horrible, maybe I should explain it was just a thank you 'err Callie...I was just trying to say thank you it was innocent...I'm sorry I made it awkward I didn't mean to upset you...I just didn't think how it would look to you I'm sorry'.

Callie's voice is in a lower octave when she replies 'don't apologise Arizona you did nothing wrong. I liked it, that's why I'm upset, I liked it too much. You give me an innocent kiss and I liked it more than I should have...god what is wrong with me, you have just been through something so horrible I shouldn't have these thoughts about you...I'm so sorry Arizona I swear I wasn't going to act on them, it was only for a second just as you kissed me' her voice trails off and I can see shame written across her face.

Yet again she's caught me off guard; I certainly wasn't expecting that to be her reason for getting upset. I'm not really sure how to reply because I'm not really sure how I fell about Callie's confession, I know I'm not angry or upset but after last night my emotions are running wild and I can't distinguish one from another. All I know is Callie has been so kind to me and despite what she just told me I trust her, I trust she isn't going to ask anything of me and I don't want her to be upset about this.

'It's okay Callie it was just a silly thought, we can't control our thoughts. I trust you' feeling the mattress shifting as Callie relaxes at my words I close my eyes, this time surrendering to my drowsiness.

I wake up before Callie this time and with an incredible effort manage to get to the bathroom, the drugs Callie gave me are wearing off fast and the sickness is back with a vengeance. Vomiting what can only be bile at this point leaves me doubled over; the straining has jarred my ribs and in turn left me winded. Once again finding myself on Callie's bathroom floor it takes the last of my energy to pull myself up the sink counter and brush the acidic taste from my mouth. Knowing I won't make it back to the bedroom I'm forced to jet again wake Callie for help.

'Callie...Callie can you help me...Cal-oh hey can you help me?' walking over to me while wiping at her groggy eyes she places her arm around my waist telling me to lean on her. Slowly we make out way back into the bedroom but she ignores the bed and heads for the door instead, noticing my confusion she answers my yet unspoken question 'It's noon we should get up and have something to eat' at the disappointed look on my face she continues 'don't worry my sofa is plenty comfy remember. If you're really lucky you might even get to have control of the remote'

Callie helps me get comfy on her sofa, slightly obsessively fluffing up the pillows before venturing into her kitchen to see what food she has in. She much know that my withdrawals are back because when she comes back she has iced water, ice cream and a fruit bowl, which are possibly the only things I can stomach right now.

Handing me a bowl she smiles sympathetically at me as I try to muster some enthusiasm for the ice cream. She senses I'm giving up on eating after my first mouthful and offers me some incentive 'I can't give you anymore drugs for a couple of hours sweetie but if you can eat something I can take an hour off the time'.

God the next few hours are going to be shitty! I manage to eat some of the food enough to please Callie anyway. Putting the bowls on her coffee table she hands me the remote, looking at it I realise I have no clue how to use it, she has cable which I don't, saying that it's been over a year since I even had any TV at all.

'you decide Callie I don't watch much TV so I won't know what any of these shows are anyway' taking the remote she puts on some talk show which as predicted I haven't seen before, every once in awhile she chuckles at the presenters jokes, sometimes looking at me to see if I'm enjoying it, I smile along with her but in reality I haven't heard a word for the last 10 minutes I haven't even been watching, I've been watching Callie instead.

Before I can analysis why I've spent the last 10 minutes staring at Callie like some kind of stalker Callie's beeper draws both of our attention. I watch her face drop as she reads it, her eyes leaving it to find mine 'He's in the hospital; he's come to check on you'


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own any of the rights to the characters and don't intend to make any money from this story. The plot and story are all mine I'm just borrowing the main players. **

**Hey guys sorry for the delay it's been a busy week. Thanks for all the reviews, someone mentioned my formatting was confusing so I swapped it around a little, I'm using " instead of ' hope it helps when reading it. **

**Chapter 5 **

The world stopped spinning for a few seconds. We both just stare at each other, Callie's plan crumbling around us. I've always been good at thinking on my feet; it's what kept me alive this long but not this time. This time my brain has abandoned me and I'm left alone with only sheer panic for company. This was it he'd caught me, it was over.

"Arizona? Arizona did you hear me?" Callie's voice shook me from my thoughts.

"What? No I didn't?"

"I said that I was going to the hospital to talk to him" she must be fucking joking does she have a death wish? How is she going to explain away my not being there?

"No you're not, how are you going to explain this away. Callie, Jayceon isn't someone you fuck with and nothing and I mean nothing will get in between him and his money" What world is Callie living in? Does she really not see what guys like Jayceon are capable of?

Looking up from my seat on her sofa I'm not expecting to see Callie wearing a look of calm determination which had now firmly replaced her initial panic "I have to Arizona. I will fix this I promise you".

"How exactly? How are you going to fix this? He has come to check on me...which means he's already suspicious about it, he's probably spoken to Kel she saw me after I'd already been beaten, she'll have told him I was fine that I was walking, talking and definitely conscious" How could I have been this stupid? How could I have forgotten about Kel, if she'd have known she would have covered for me she would have told him I had been worse than I had been.

"listen to me Arizona you have to calm down, stay here don't move from this sofa, don't phone anyone, don't go anywhere just let me fix this" she was already up and nearing her front door reaching for her coat, by the time I'd even managed to pull myself off of her sofa she was gone.

"Shit. Shit shit" have no idea what's going to happen but I can't stay here, he was going to make her tell him, then he'd come here and I was dead. No, I can't stay here and just wait for him to find me, but where the fuck do I go I have what $1300 and the clothes I showed up in. Maybe Callie still had some money around here I'm need as much as I can get if I want a chance of getting out of here.

Getting back to the bedroom on my own took some doing, by the time I reached the bed I was doubled over in pain. It was no good I couldn't run, not like this I won't even be able to put my own shoes on. If running isn't an option then I need to hide, I need to hide and hope that there is security in the hospital to help Callie. But looking around her room I can see hiding isn't going to be an option either, there is nowhere to hide what's the point in getting into her closet, or under her bed he'd look he'd definitely look. She's my only hope now if she can't convince him he doesn't need to see me it's all over. Feeling the bile rising from my stomach again I don't even bother attempting the trek to the bathroom, instead reaching for a bin in the corner of the room.

Dishevelled and vomiting in the corner is where Callie finds me ten minutes later. Her smile instantly vanishing "Arizona are you ok? Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?"

"No, I'm good here...how are you here? Is he here Callie...Please Callie?" god I don't even know what I'm pleading of her if he's here there's nothing she can do. She smiled though, yeah she was smiling when she first came in she must have fixed it. Smile equals good news right?

"Everything is fine sweetie. He's a douche but he's a douche who thinks your unconscious in a hospital bed, he also thinks that there is a police guard on you; apparently he wasn't overly keen on his face being seen by the cops. He also wasn't too keen on providing some ID so we could put him on the visitors list" There's that smile again, mainly plain jubilance but also a hint of pride creeping in. I heard her words I see her smiling nothings registering; it can't be this easy I can't have gotten this lucky.

"What did you tell him Callie? Word for word, tell me everything that was said?"

"Not now Arizona you need to rest, look at you you're shaking. Why are you in here anyway there was a bucket next to the sofa?" her eyes scan the room and it much register that my cloths which she'd neatly folded and put on her dressing table are moved and my phone is on thrown on the bed.

"Where you going somewhere?" disappointment coating her words, her eyebrow raised in challenge.

"I told you not to go Callie but you did. Of course I was fucking leaving you where playing Russian roulette with my life. Tell me Callie, tell me what was said." Who the fuck did she think she was getting angry at me, this is her fault, she's the one who made me stay here, she's the one who lied to him, she's the reason I can't fucking stop vomiting and my head feels like it's going to explode and now she's standing there questioning me.

"Arizona please don't do this. You know I've done all of this for you. You must be able to see that I'm just trying to help. I told you I would sort this all out and I have, I just needed you to trust me...jeez is that so hard?" okay so Callie knows how to go on the defensive too, but is she serious of course it's that hard.

"You need me to trust you? What reason could I possibly have to trust you Callie? We met because you wanted to pay some stranger to fuck you! Is that the sort of person you would trust, not just trust but trust with your fucking life? Because that is what's at stake here Callie! That's what you're so hell bent on throwing away" even I don't know where that rage came from, I know deep down she's telling the truth, that everything she's doing is with good intentions but I'm scared like really really fucking terrified.

Callie's head went down the minute I mentioned our meeting and it hasn't been lifted since. Sitting on the corner of her bed I can see she's trembling, no she's crying. All the anger pours from me seeing her sat in front of me crying, crying because of me. God she's been so kind to me, she's helping me, what I have I done? Why can't I stop running my mouth? "Callie...I'm sorry...I didn't mean it I trust you...I'm sorry I'm just...just scared".

No response "please Callie I'm sorry don't cry...I didn't mean it". Hauling myself up Callie's wall I practically fall onto the bed next to her.

"Yes you did, you meant all of it and you were right. I picked you up off a street corner and paid you to spend time with me. Fuck even saying it makes me sound like some...s-some pathetic freak"

"No Callie you're not, you are a good person who is going through something. You're a good person and you didn't deserve me shouting at you" God what have I done. What if she hates me now what am I going to do? I have nowhere to go, fuck even if I did I couldn't get there, why do I ruin everything? Why can't I ever let myself have anything good even if it's just for a little while? I'll never see her again not ever, she's going to tell me to leave and I'm never going to see her again. God I'm going to miss her, miss her eyes, miss her smile, her laugh, the sound of her voice I'm even going to miss the way she mumbles random crap as she falls asleep.

"Arizona I thought about it even though I told you I didn't" what is she talking about? "When I pulled up I saw you and I wanted you. It's not why I stopped I meant it when I said I didn't have any intentions or expectations from you. But when I first saw you I wanted you, I looked at you like you're something I could just buy. You have no reason to trust me and maybe you shouldn't I don't think I even trust myself anymore". She still hasn't told me what's happened to her, what has brought her to this point right now I literally have no idea why someone like her is sat here with me, but what I do know is my words have hit her and hit her hard. Harder than they should, no my words shouldn't have been enough to break her like this. There is something else on her mind, something which had her on the ropes a long time before I even existed in her world.

"Callie one thought doesn't make you a bad person, one thought you're not proud of doesn't decide who you are. You may have picked me up Callie...Hell you may have even thought about buying but remember I was selling, so what does that make me?" her head snaps in my direction at this and the anger in her eyes makes me want to shrink away back to my corner, but I don't I have to trust her trust that she won't hurt me, trust that her anger isn't for me.

"No Arizona it's different, this isn't your fault, you were just a kid someone should have helped you. Its people...people like me who took advantage, they're the reason you have to live like this, the reason you're scared, the reason you can barely move without crying."

How can she compare herself to the others? How can she compare herself to him she's so far from him it's unreal. Was her self esteem really this low? Is she really this angry at herself that she's willing to group herself with a rapist, some lowlife woman beater? "Callie you had a second of temptation but you didn't act on it, you have in no way contributed to anything bad in my life. Please believe me if everyone I'd come across was like you I wouldn't be in this situation. Please Callie...just forgive me for what I said and stop being so hard on yourself, you can't be perfect all the time it's just not possible"

Her humourless laugh is enough for me to know this isn't the end of it, she wasn't convinced by my words "I'd settle for just being normal, believe me I wouldn't even bother attempting perfect I'm so far from it I don't think I'd even recognise it"

"What happened Callie?" pulling a tissue from her pocket she dabs at her eyes still sniffling but regaining control of herself "I told him we didn't know details so you had a police guard in case someone came looking for you and he needed to show ID to get into your room, he didn't want that and he left. He wouldn't even stick around to fill in your addr...whaaaaaaa"

Her eyes widen in surprise as my hand has to cover her mouth in order to get her to stop talking "That isn't what I meant Callie, I meant what happened to you? Why are you here? Why are we both here?"

Clearly she doesn't want to but seeing that I'm not going to drop it she reluctantly starts "I don't really know. I don't know how I turned into this person...I guess it started with George he sort of broke me, then there was some things in between but it was Erica which pushed me over the edge, I guess" I seriously hope she's going to give me more to go on than George and Erica.

After a couple of minutes I know she's not planning to elaborate without prompting "I'm good Callie but I'm not that good I need more to go on than two names?" I can see in her face she wants me to drop it but not this time, if she's helping me then I'm going to at least try to help her in return "come on Callie just talk to me".

"When I was younger in high school I used to have all these friends, there was a group of us and I was happy, well I thought I was happy. Then in my last year I realised I didn't actually have any real friends. None of them took me seriously they were only bothering with because my dad owned the nicest house on the block, had hotels all over the country which I used to take them too every break plus I had the best parties. When one of the girls got it into her head that I was chasing her boyfriend that was it, they all turned on me wouldn't even hear me out, made my life a living hell. After that I decided that I wouldn't let anyone use me like that again, so in collage I did the whole shitty college dorm and shared apartment thing, I never told anyone about any family money. It was nice and for once I had real honest to god friends, who were my friends just because of me. Anyway it gave me confidence made me feel good about me" a ghost of a smile graced her lips as she relived her collage days.

"Anyway yeah that was back in collage, after I came to Seattle I tried to keep the money side quite again but then I met George. I was a senior resident and he was an intern. I'd spent my first two years drifting I was pretty much the outcast not really making any close friends, he took an interest in me and I was lonely so I sort of crushed on him, well it was more obsessed over him. Anyway he didn't feel the same. He basically used me, ended up marrying me after his dad died, then cheated on me with the woman he really wanted to marry". Needless to say that nostalgic smile has long since disappeared, shame completely taking its place "I think he was only there to live in my 5 star hotels with room service on tap bubble".

"He sounds like a dick Callie" why would he marry her if he was going to fuck around, saying that I already know the answer to that he is a fucking idiot. He has to be if he'd fuck around on someone like Callie, I've known her all of a day and I can tell she's a keeper.

"I wish I could lay it all on him but he made it so clear that he didn't love me...I shouldn't have let him treat me like that, I shouldn't have stayed for as long as I did. Anyway his friends kind of hated me and everyone at the hospital thought I was a joke, especially when I lost the chief residency position. I tried to write it off as just a bad year, you know start afresh and all that try and keep it professional and focus on my career" sounds like she was onto a winner although I sense there is a huge but coming it this tale.

"It worked for a little while but then I met Erica" and there it is "We became friends and then it started to go in a bit of an unexpected direction. It was new and slightly nerve racking but it was good and exciting too. I thought we could have something, something special. I was starting to fall for her, I kept thinking how lucky I was, I had was falling in love with one of my best friends, who wanted to be with me just for me no ulterior motive" There's definitely another but coming again.

"But then we went out to dinner one Friday, just like we always did and she dropped the bombshell that she was interviewing for a new job, it was in Boston so I knew if she took it we were over. She said it was just an interview and nothing was decided, so I clung to that for awhile. As per usual my luck was nonexistent and she got offered it...she accepted without hesitation. I asked if we could try the long distance thing but she said it wouldn't work...so I asked her if we could stay friends but she didn't want that either. She said that I was and I'm quoting here 'a lot of fun but not the sort of woman she'd walk down the aisle' so that was that".

Wow if Callie wasn't someone you'd want to walk down the aisle what the fuck am I? I guess that's another thing I now know about Callie now, as far as relationships go she's got some shocking taste.

"What a bitch. They're both idiots Callie if they let you go then they must be idiots"

"I don't think so Arizona, I tried telling myself that for awhile but everyone can't be wrong can they? It makes more sense that it's me. I go over and over what I do wrong, I think I get a little clingy or something. Whatever it is I'm doing I guess it's a deal breaker because I don't think anyone other than my family who sort of had too has ever truly loved me"

"Like I said they're idiots" I guess that explains why Callie has such shitty self esteem. They've seriously done a number on her.

"Hey Callie?"

"What?"

"I wanted you too?" That got her attention.

"What do you mean?" She's pretty when confused.

"When you first pulled up I saw you and thought you were hot" the blank stare she gives me doesn't last very long, her face splitting into a massive smile as she starts laughing at me. All the tension in the room rushing away as her contagious laughter catches me in its storm.


End file.
